Unselfing – what a term, isn’t it? I think there’s something about that prefix – “un”. Letting go, unlearning, unselfing.

Ours is the time of the ego – rampant, self-indulgent ego. Selfies, personalised feeds, personalised ads, personalised everything – almost all good products, but almost all terrible if left unchecked or unsupervised.

And isn’t that true for our times? We have let the idea of our “selves” go too far – far more than we ourselves can handle it. And that is impacting not just our public discourse and our politics, but also our relationships and our everyday lives as we speak.

However, we also live in the time of Understanding – a fully encompassing, discerning Understanding. And one core precursor to that Understanding is a detachment from the cobweb of the self, of the ego.

Which is where I bring to you the idea of “Unselfing”.

I came across this term in a very recent article a friend had shared with me. All the details to the article and the author are below in the show notes. It is a must read, just as this episode is a must listen. 😛

Well, let’s catch up in the playground.

Until next time.

Peace out.

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“Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe.”

C. JoyBell C.

That, to me, sums up the utility of that age-old idea of letting go.

When I first came across the article I have talked about in this episode, the words immensely resonated with me. It was probably the first time ever that I heard the word unselfing, but the 2-3 minute read was quite enough to get the idea across. And also the overall utility of it. And let me tell you, it’s not a new idea either. Eastern philosophical traditions such as the Advaita Vedanta, Zen Buddhism, etc have focussed on nothing but, at the core of their teachings and messaging.

However, in the times we’re living in, the idea is more relevant than ever. Our modern modes of living – all the personalised feeds, all the selfies, all the personalised ads – are contributing to strengthening the ego, to strengthening the separation that is the basis of the ego.

And while the ego is an important mechanism of the functioning of the human organism, it is a terrible master. And that, more than anything, is an absolutely striking reality of our time. To quote the article (only a teaser):

"Somewhere along the way, in the century of the self, we forgot each other. We forgot this vast and wonder-filled universe, of which we are each but a tiny and transient wonder."
- Maria Popova (unselfing.social)

The central idea should not be something alien to someone who’s familiar with my work. Quite a number of my podcast episodes have been directed to this very same idea. For a refresher, here are a few episodes that you could check out as a sister content to this episode and this article I talked about here.

Well, enough said and done. I’d recommend you to get into the episode and give it a listen. A narration of the article is included in the episode itself, but if you wish to read it beforehand, here’s a link to it again – unselfing.social by Maria Popova

The entire episode is only an 11 minute listen. And it’s absolutely worth it.

I’ll see you in the playground.

To more unlearning and more unselfing.

Until next time.

Peace out.

Everyone goes through the highs and lows of life – no matter what social situation they’re in, no matter how much privilege others perceive in their life situation, life has its highs and lows for everyone.

By their very definition, the low phases of life are more difficult to navigate for us. Join me in this episode as I talk about a few general dos and don’ts during such times.

Of course, any specific advice has to be tailored to the individual situation at hand, but my aim here is to cover a few general principles that form the bedrock of a lot of subjective advice that everyone can benefit from.

I’ll see you in the playground.

Until next time.

Peace out.

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Or listen on the custom player below

When Jimmy Kimmel, host of the popular late night American TV show Jimmy Kimmel Live, hosted Anthony Hopkins, he asked him a question that really stuck a chord with me. Anthony was close to 80 years old at the time, and Jimmy asked him if there is a single piece of advice he would like to share with the audience based on the sheer amount of time he has spent on the planet!

And Anthony Hopkins, very easily replied back saying, “Just keep going. Never give up.“

How beautiful, right? And how powerful! Especially in terms of the topic we’re talking about in this episode – depression help and suicide prevention.

You see, all of us have low phases in our lives. If you’ve lived long enough, you know that to be true. All of our lives are akin to sine waves – they have ups and downs, crests and troughs. The low phases, by their very definition, are more difficult to navigate for all of us. And in the lowest of our low phases, the thought of simply ending it all and just giving up can seem to be a viable option – or worse yet, can seem to be the only option at times.

It is at these situations when we need to exercise our conscious choice to not act on such thoughts, and rather, just keep going. Because no matter what, the sine curve does come back up. It has to. And if you are at the lowest of your lows, it can’t get any worse – it’s going to only get better.

And even if you don’t believe that last bit, acting as if that’s the case is a much better choice than not.

In this episode of my podcast, I talk about three general dos and don’ts for depression help and suicide prevention. The core aim, if there is one, for this episode, is to propagate the idea that there is a better choice available than ending it all – there always is.

Having said all that I said in this episode and on this page, I still feel that any real help and advice we need in those tough low phases of our lives have to be specific to our particular life situations and not simply based out of a motivational quote or an inspiring piece of literature someone’s read. So, if you or anyone you know is in need of such advice, I know I can help. All the details for getting in touch with me personally, even if for a single one-time call and other nuances, are available on the talk-to-me page.

I think I’ll end this page with another one of those beautiful quotes that can be life-changing if you let them.

“You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.”

Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men

It appears to me that in the present day and age, our entire society seems to be rigged with this virus of victimhood. And that is a real problem.

An old quote of mine reads, “More than being identified with the victim in your story, be identified with the observer of it. The latter is closer to the truth.”

In this episode of The Unlearning Playground, I expand on what I mean when I say this.

Like most of my everyday-life advice episodes, this one is also centred around wisdom that’s applicable to and is pragmatically focussed on our day-to-day lives.

And you’ll also see why this is quite a necessary collective message for our times too, because like I just mentioned, if you look closely, we seem to be collectively rigged by this virus of victimhood.

If I was to summarise the need for this episode and the message therein, I would summarise it in this beautiful quote whose author I am unaware of, “If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.”

Tune in to the episode to know more and know better.

And please don’t forget to like, share and subscribe and leave a rating/review for the podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

I’ll see you in the playground.

Until next time.

Peace out.

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Or listen on the custom player below

Hurt people hurt people.

If only we could realise how much this statement is true, and how much this applies not just to others but to our own lives as well!

Victimhood, like most things in life really, requires discernment of the highest order.

You see, all of us undergo some sort of trauma in our lives. This could be related to incidents or situations from our childhood, could be triggered by stuff we grew through as teenagers or adults, and so on. The ups and downs of life ensure that all of us see difficult times, that all of us are in situations when we are can’t help but feel like victims.

Now as we grow up and start to call ourselves mature adults, a major chunk of our work lies in outgrowing this trauma and the accompanying victimhood, a process you can very easily call healing.

And I know that some of us don’t like to use terms such as trauma and victimhood for our own life situations, but I still hope you’re getting the gist of what I’m trying to convey. Call it whatever you want, coming out of the identity that such situations build within us is a part of growing-up-101.

And this is especially important advice for our times. If you are at all active on social media these days, you can really see this pattern emerge out of the conversations that we have publicly these days – people on all sides of all possible dichotomies fighting it out to lay their claim on the trophy of who is the biggest victim there ever has been. Whether it is the conservatives or the liberals, the men or the women, the Hindus or the Muslims, the Indians or the Pakistanis, the gays or the straights – everyone has one hand on the “trophy” of victimhood these days.

Surely there could be victims on both sides of all of these dichotomies, of course!

But if the mere fact that you are on one side as opposed to the other is making you feel like a victim, therein lies your work, my fellow human!

Someone very wise once said, “If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.”

If you let it, these few words have the power to trigger a change in you that your future self will thank you for.

I hope this episode can do so too.

Get into it.